Timing
For a very long time, running has been enjoyable due to competing and the people around me in the sport. In terms of competition, being injured on and off since late 2019/2020 has made it very hard to be competitive. Post 2018/early 2019 I felt like I’d matured a lot as a runner and was looking forward to implementing that in the Olympic year. Sadly, as all runners know, injuries derailed that progression. I wasn’t able to do things in races that I wanted. I wasn’t competitive. In terms of the people around me, a lot of my close friends and teammates moved on to other teams or other phases of their life. I really don’t want any of my current teammates or the coaches to take this the wrong way, but I no longer looked forward to practice. So many of the relationships I had built and the comfort I felt at practice were gone from my day-to-day. That’s just how life goes. In the past, I had envisioned competing for a long portion of my life and I looked forward to it. Now, the idea of training at this level just seems unappealing.
Reflection
I was never sure what I wanted out of my running career. I have essentially always just wanted to see how much I could improve. I have had various goals throughout the years, but the one constant was that I just wanted to keep progressing. I think that in part is what made these last two years so hard on me mentally. I hope someday I can look back at my career and be satisfied and proud. However, at this moment I feel a good bit of shame that I never hit the peak. So many people have helped me to get to this point and even though I don’t know what the end goal even would be that would make me satisfied, a part of me feels like I’ve let people down. Logically I know that’s not true, but I can’t control that feeling.
Gratitude
There are so many people that have made this running career possible and I am truly grateful for them all. Coach Dobias for starting me off and making me enjoy it. Coaches Drosky and Megesi for shaping me into a runner. Coaches Amy and Andrew for taking a chance on me and giving me a competitive experience I wouldn’t have expected being a collegiate walk-on. There have been so many friends along the way that made the trip memorable and enjoyable. I’d like to shout out Patrick Peterson, Brandon Hazouri, and Ed Kemboi for their effect on my development as an athlete post-collegiately. My best season was due in large part to their support in and out of practice. I would also like to thank Josh Glass, Robin Rogers, Phil and Lamar at Georgia Sports, and so many of the other wonderful sports physio/chiro/rehab people I have worked with over the years. They don’t get their names by the race results but they have just as much a part in it as I do. Thank you to the Atlanta Track Club for giving me a team to take pride in. I have always loved the team aspect of this individual sport however small. The 4x8s I’ve run are the closest races to my heart.
I’m not sure how to wrap this up. Thank you for reading and caring about my career.
